Sunday, January 16, 2011


Nash is 3 weeks old today. During these first few weeks together, I have been overwhelmed by the realization of how not enough I am for him. I know that I cannot teach him everything he will need to know. I cannot provide him enough love and security to make him complete. I cannot provide for his every need. I am just not enough. But I am comforted by the fact that our Heavenly Father is enough for him - that all of my shortcomings will be filled by his complete goodness. When I am not enough, He always will be. What a powerful truth for a mom!

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thursday, January 6, 2011

What I have learned in 11 days

Nash is 11 days old today. It's hard to believe he's already been with us that long. He is so sweet and overall a wonderful baby. Motherhood thus far is pretty surreal. I still feel like I am just in survival mode, and am guessing that will continue for a few more weeks as we adjust. There is so much I have left to learn about him and about caring for a baby, but I have learned quite a bit in just the past 11 days. Here are a few snippets:

1. Postpartum recovery is a lot more difficult that I imagined.
I had assumed I would have Nash one day and feel the sudden relief of not being pregnant any more coupled with overall physical rejuvenation once I gave birth. Nobody really prepped me for how my body would feel after having a baby. The pain and physical fatigue were unexpected and made me extremely thankful that my mom was able to stay for a week to help care for Nash while I recovered. Luckily, I am feeling loads better and have kicked the pain meds by now.

2. I can do more than I ever imagined possible on just 3 hours of sleep.
Every parent warned us that the first few months are absolutely exhausting. They didn't lie. It's truly amazing how much you can really do on just a few hours of sleep. I have also learned the joys of a well-positioned power nap. Luckily, Nathan is an early morning person while I am a late night gal. It's 6:36pm right now, and Nathan has already gone off to bed to get some solid sleep before he takes the 1:00 - 7:00am shifts.

3. You have to do what is right for your family.
Everyone has a lot of opinions when it comes to parenting - particularly parenting a newborn. From breastfeeding to co-sleeping to soothing techniques. I have learned that you have to do what is right for your family and not worry so much about what "they" say. A baby needs unconditional love and care, and you can't give that if you are trying to fit into a mold that only frustrates your family. If you do what is right for your family dynamic, everyone - including baby - will be happier.

4. I now believe in love at first sight.

I cannot express how much I truly love this little boy. I wish my arms and back could stand to hold him more - I would never put him down. The first major "Mom moment" I had was in the hospital right after Nash was circumcised. They brought him back to us and the scream he let out when he got shifted the wrong way was one that brought tears to my eyes so fast and made me want to do anything in my power to make him not be in pain any more. I'm sure I will have many more moments of wanting to save my baby from pain, heart ache, and loss over the coming years. I just pray I have the strength!

I know there are millions of lessons left to come over the course of the next 18+ years. We're so excited to have him in our life and begin building a family.