I think one of the reasons God gives us children and the blessing of parenthood is so that through our children, we may more accurately see ourselves in relation to Him. I always smile when Nash does something that makes me realize a new aspect of my relationship with Christ. Tonight was one of those instances.
Nash is becoming more and more independent. It's wonderful, heartbreaking, freeing and terrifying all at once. It's fine when he wants to try to take his shirt off himself but another story when he doesn't want to hold your hand while you walk across the parking lot. As I watch Nash struggle with new things, I know that I could step in and get it done quicker but then, how would he learn? Tonight after we put PJs on, he really wanted to put his sock on himself. He ran away from me holding it yelling "I do it. I do it." I knew he couldn't accomplish this task, but if I stepped in and just did it for him we'd be in full force tantrum mode. So, I let him run off and proclaim his independence. And as he plopped down, he realized this was way outside of his abilities and quickly changed his chant to, "Hulp."
How often do we run away from God holding our burdens saying, "I do it. I do it." Our God is merciful to give us freewill, He allows us our independence to choose which way we go. And as soon as we pause long enough to try to figure it out ourselves, we quickly see how incapable we are and cry out for help. I'm so thankful that God is patient and faithful to help us despite our stubbornness. And even more than that He is capable. That's where I rest tonight - in His hands that are able to deal with my "sock" of a problem that is trivial to Him in comparison to what He is capable of but that He lovingly helps me with.
"'Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.'" Matthew 11: 28 - 30